Hey
Probably dyeing my hair again (SOON?!), though tight in cash but to me it's always an indication of a new beginning of my life
I plan to let all things either stay in this year, or begin anew for 2012, but yeah jsie's timid and courageless :/
Stupid dumb mfo
Independence, independence and more independence
This year is sure the worst one
Pardon me for feeling this way, family friends love
I daren't wish for a better 2012,
Cos somehow I'd learnt to live the life I'm living now and I shall not wish for more, shall not be greedy, shall just be contented that I'm still alive.
Caught the flu bug 5 days back :(
Fever, blocked nose & ear, terrible headaches, shivers, diarrhoea
Now I have a mega cool voice
Spend my holidays sleeping almost every minute, sleep wake up sleep back unless during meals time
Didn't had much appetite as well :(
At nights were worst, I had insomnia and so f tired but I just cannot get to sleep
I managed to clear 3 problems for a module only
I'm so dead know, but I just don't have the mood to study
All I can think of is to go and sleeepppppppp
I want to get well soon :(
Spend this year's xmas in bed, no mood as well.
Read up in internet flu is approx around 10 days? If it's to cure or fully subside please kill me man, at 5th day already and I'm so dying already.
Please I want to get well pleaseeeeeeeee
*sniff sniff throws 123718382302138 tissues in your face*
If I would disappear one day, will you regret not telling me something?
It's holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) When bias & judgemental issues on sister and bf, when you two didn't even bother to find out what's happening and the situation
2) When I'm fucking tired and your constant reminders to pack up pack up pack up, and the worst is I already told you I know, and I have to prioritize but it just goes in one ear and out from the other
3) I have to cook after school on days when bro got OT. I MEGA HATE THIS! whoever loves cooking, I just cannot figure that out
4) Repeating myself and constant reminders and being instructed around. I JOLLY FUCKING WELL KNOW WHAT TO DO I NO NEED YOU TO SAY OKAY. I AM NOT BRO
5) Whatever I've done for the day never gets noticed, instead I am said for things I have yet to do which I'd planned to complete it another day because more than half of the day is done doing the things done, but you never know.
6) Exam period and I'm seriously mugging like shit and yet you have to add on to the stress
7) Class partialling attitude
I'm like seriously, as said come school to learn, you partial for fuck? If the problem is difficult the more you should STAY ON and fucking understand, instead of running home/slacking elsewhere and suffer later.
Pcb(s), what one for all and all for one? Knn okay all hypocrites, in the end come one fake act infront of faci like some goody student. Fuck you okay
You don't want study others still want study hor okay
Come this course for fuck, it's a tacky course and requires strong interest unless you are dumb enough to enter because you do not know where else to go
If not, fucking study hard and not complain when UT results are out
And knn, I know I don't really have the rights to say this but what's with sudden change of attitude towards desired goal, and regretting being in this course?
I doubt you are even fit to be called a diploma-to-be-in-biomedical-student la okay.
Really despise la please.
8) FUCKING HATE MY HOME, FOREVER.
Family members bonding session least till I can count with 2hands
Always quarreling and I rather stay out, even if roaming around alone than come home and face you all
I HATE THIS PLACE, BUT IT ALL GOES BACK TO I HATING MYSELF THE MOST, cos things and situation can change, it's all based on an individual's decision and perspective
But knn, fuck it okay.
I got to blog this out I can't take it inside me anymore.
Cb.
Today is a fucking damn depressing day, toppled up with major low self confidence
Lab management, I don't fucking understand a single shit on the content I am supposed to do
Struggling like fuck and I can't even help my team, when they are struggling as well I felt so bad, so useless
So angry with myself, wanted to break down but yet I don't have the rights to, and wasting unnecessary time when I can use it to research and understand more on what I need to do
Why am I so fucking stupid? Why?
Felt so unmotivated since yesterday, but yet faci was kind enough to give me a B.
Last week's lab mgment chionged like fuck, in the end still get a B. Didn't work hard also get a B, really feel fucking unappreciated
UT
One mark away from A. Study like fuck, didn't even achieve what I want, while compared to others who never even fucking study
WHY OH WHY AM I SO STUPID AND CARELESS
WHYYYYYYYY
I expect too much from myself, so much of a perfectionist even the slightless mistake I made, made myself suffered
Really really hate myself.
I'm so tired of acting strong.
I want to be me, but I can't
Cos I will be freaking emo I swear, and that will affect people around me. I don't want others to be sian & sad just because I am
I don't want them to worry.
I rather suffer on my own
And I'm sorry to those reading this, sorry.
Sigh.
Am I fine?
Do you want to hear the real or fake answer?
ADIDAS
Hehehe a fucking short update okay
PP Poster presentation done, 90% can pass and hope so!
Accessors say poster quite wordy, but side background very pretty, thanks to sister helping me to design it (:
Happyhappy! Though one question they posed I don't know how to answer, but think should be able to pass ba.
Till then,
Loves
