Hey all.

TODAY I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY .
I GOT A FREAKING A FOR MICROBIOLOGY UT !!
For the first time getting an A for ut(s) !!!!
Usually always one mark away, so damn irritating.

This time best, 19/20.
Omg I am so proud of myself and the efforts, but somehow I am also proud because I feel that I have not let mummy down.
So much that I want to see her and let her be the 1st to know about the news, I know it's impossible.
But I believe, mum is able to witness this, and yes mummy, I had achieve good grades. I will continue to work hard :')

Today png chin wen came to our class after lessons
We had class photos, also with kok lai mun (microbio faci) 
Chatted and spend time together, pcw is so vain and so cute omg melts!!
I finally managed to pluck up courage and want to take individual picture with him!
BEST IS HUG HIM OMG!!
At first was so shy, then my friend pushed me cos she knew I wanted to hug him .
Awwwwwwww so glad, I didn't regret :D

Hopefully he will tell us which terminal his flight is at on 19th july!
So that we can send him, though it is midnight flight BUT THANKS RP FOR WEDNESDAY OFF. omg
Even if it's school next day, I WILL GO AND SEND HIM MAN.
Mega love him, more of admiration and idolization.
So inspired to be like him, so young and yet PHD & Doc & module chair.


& I know whenever I think of him and I cried, sometimes silently inside
It leads me back to the thought of losing someone so dear to me again,
I hate that feeling.

I hate coming back to an empty home.
I hate myself for my moodswings.
I hate myself.

Bury myself in revision max.

Hey.

After week 7's microbiology daily grade getting a B,
As my faci is still on holiday, I was really disappointed because my continuous 4A is spoiled.
I couldn't deny the drop in enthusiasm.

I didn't work hard for week 8, when my faci came back from her holiday.
Instead, I copied and paste slides from my friends, however understanding the content and further elaborated.
I swear, I was very slack that day.
It was the first time this sem, I did such an aweful act.
But I am so embarrassed of myself right now.


Cos I got an A.
Comments for week 8 -
Hi Jessie, nice in depth ppt content and explanation. it was very thorough, like how you had been presenting or researching in the previous problems. nice to see a continuity of thoroughness, participation and engagement in spite of changes to team members.

& this is from week 1
Hi Jessie, I can feel your enthusiasm when reading your RJ. I'm happy you are enjoying and excited about the module.

Good team work and participation in discussions and offering answers when questions were posed. The slide content and presentation were clear and easy to understand.

do keep the fire burning and burn away all the doubts, challenges or uncertainties in concepts. important to always remember to strengthen our concepts. we could do more research or ask questions to check our understanding and improve it.


I AM SO EMBARRASSED WITH MYSELF.
For losing that enthusiasm that is burning in me so much it made me super excited for microbiology everytime,
Just because a single drop in A to B.
I let my faci down, sigh.
I SHOULD BUCK UP, I SHOULD CONTINUE TO WORK HARD.

As for yesterday.
I WAS LATE FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SEM.
Major FML, cos it was the day whereby we ended lessons at 12pm,
And it is so easy to achieve that A.

The third emotional thing?
I am revising immunology right now, and I can't help feeling depressed.
Major not looking forward to lessons with the new faci,
But I know this must not affect my learning for this awesome module.
:/ super sad i can just die.

My faci very young right!!!!!!
I SHOULD TAKE AN INDIVIDUAL PICTURE WITH HIM (but im so shy): )

Meeting him with class tomorrow after school <3
I hate goodbyes ):

Immunology Problem 9 in lab.

Started off with pdt, faci explained the procedure and precautions we had to be aware of later in lab.
Attempted protocol as a whole class, easy peasy questions and faci let us off for 2nd break at 1130 - 130pm.

Lab, our team 1st to load proteins into SDS page gel
After that faci granted us 10 minutes to grab a free coke (since coca cola company came to RP).  :D
Waited for the other 4 teams, around 1 hour plus and later must wait another 1 hour for the proteins to migrate through the gel

Played pyramid game!
Loser team must clean the lab up!
All the mistakes and blur faces = epic :D

Overall lab was awesomeeeeeeeee, major slack cos no powerpoint/labreport to do, still got free hello panda

Worst?
MY FACI PNG CHIN WEN IS LEAVING TO HARVARD UNIVERSITY THIS FRIDAY.
FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's like the most awesome faci around ):
I just cried on the spot lo ): . super heartbreak ):
I DONTWANT HIM TO LEAVE W/O HIM IMMU IS NOTHING BUT JUST A MODULE ): ): ):


Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Mad sad damn sad super mad sad.
Die and die and die agains.

</3

Facial & went to grandmother's house today with fam.

Grandmother spoke in Hokkien, and how I wished I know how to communicate well with her. ):
She asked us to crowd around her and told us to take care, because of Mum's issue, which made me teared, and I can see the sadness in grandmother's eye too.
Sigh.

Then grandmother compared our hand size, say I very skinny not nice! Hahha and she old already, so skin very wrinkly which she don't like.
Ladies are always vain :D

I let her wore my snake ring later, which she did awww
She even know how to lift her leg up like king 'kiao ka' and exercise, max cute!
She's 90 this year, hope she'll stay healthy and the infection to cure pleaseeeeee.
Love you grandmother, I'm still learning to cherish those around me.

Till now,
Loves.

Hey all !

Today's outfit which I like very much (: 

Qpx as usual at holland V with sister, 
After that Ichiban sushi with sister & her boyfriend
First time trying !

YUMYUMYUM to sashimi!!!!!!
I had this for only $17.90. 

After that watched [Mr popper's penguin]
Hahhahahha recommended much, the penguins are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cuteeee :D

Sis got for me this, bear lolipop :D
& she wrote me a letter, very touching one 
Hehehe shyyy


K la that's all for now
Tomorrow last UT for ut1, then friday lab (I LOVE LABS)
Loves, 

Hey all (: 

Friday met up with sister after school to buy Father's day present.
Waited for her for so long I can cover 2 problems @ Mc cafe! 
Bought for daddy his favourite crocodile brand polo tee (: 

After that went carrefour bought fruit wine & red wine,
To east coast with sister's bf and slack till 4am plus. 
I vomitted again wth =.=
7.5% only and I drank like 4 half cups only?!
Poor alcohol level ): 

Today met up with part of 5A2 to prawning 
Most of our first experiences !
It was kind of boring and we didn't caught any in the end, but still it was fun due to the process (: 

Went back to kovan to bowl and the boyssssss, pull the socks to the max so they look damn nerd with it LOL. 
Cards & deal with syah & cc back at point till 130am, 


Time to sleep soon after this 
Happybirthday to bro & Happy father day daddy (L)(L)(L)

Till now, 

Hey all.
As usual, blah blah blah school started when holidays ended.

A&P today, about testes and testerones, hormones and glands in our bodies,
& every A&P the faci will say me and the class will gang up also ):
Although all is play play but urg why me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *heartbreaks*

'Are you anorexic? Why are you so thin? Did you eat? I think you have the perfect figure for scoliosis. You should check your thyroid gland, there may be a deficiency. Are you of high metabolism? I don't see you getting active now and then. Hey she tried to spike my drink! She threw pencil box at S. She's aggitated easily. I think she confirm have high metabolism laaa'

URG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
):


Anyway I'm so depressed *whispers : as usual*
Close friends being sad, one of them involves their loved ones passing away.
Sigh, I can totally understand how he feels, but yet I don't know how to help, to comfort, and all I can say is : I'll be there when you need someone, Cheer up.

Back then, all I wanted was hugs, comfort- lots of it.
& the impossible to happen.

Felt so useless.
Tomorrow's biochemistry ut.
Sigh..


Feel like drowning myself in alcohol again
My kaki is gone *@&*@*(@ think so.
Major sigh.

Taken on the same day
Sometimes I think I look even better w/o makeup.

What do you think?

Caught at claw machine only @$5 with sis, suntec :D.
[Fishbald head] MAD CUTE IT BLUSHES

Hangover II : 4/5 nice movie !

Then I received my rings & first ever double ring
ALL SO CHIO AND WORTHY !!!!!!
Check it out @fashionhooks.com :)

I.GET.HIGH.OVER.RINGS.&.BRACLETS OMG
I bought one $3.50 (LIKE ONLY?!?!?!) after purchase of these hehe

Hairdo for 5 hours, done at Essentual Bugis (just above burgerking)
Now got offer check celestechen.com
Overall I think cut & treatment not so worthy but kind of satisfied with the colour & partial highlight.


That's all for now
Loves !

Till now, I can't differentiate which is dream & which is reality. 

I wished I never ever wake up in dreams that contain mummy, happiness our family shared, bickering, daily activities
Am I yearning them too much, or does this really happens in the other world? 

I think my hammie hates me. 
Meal in morning, all the way to night then they got to have bread and milk. 
They turned skinnier, and lesser time spent too.

I feel that I'd disappointed dad.
So many things to pack up, clear, house is so damn messy 
But I always complained I'm tired or need to study. 
Seriously I'm someone who prioritize study above anything else, 

But sometimes I wonder,
Why should I study so hard? I got to die one day eventually, & I have this feeling I won't live for long. 
If I die, I get to be by mum side, that's even better than being here . 

God decides my fate,
I won't do anything silly.
Images keep flashing back, it seemed like just yesterday </3



Hate my life, hate myself.