I just hate you, so fucking hate you SO MUCH.

I sent you a draft, you edited.
I accepted, and edited again. FOR 6 TIMES UP TO NOW.
Mind you, it’s only for intro and figures/legends (2*6= 12 times)
ITS STILL UNSATISFACTORY.

Fine.
I do it YOUR way. YOUR style.
Swallowed my tears, the HURTFUL COMMENTS, I SHOVED IT ASIDE.
I edited my work again, with more precise and more descriptive words.
You replied, saying MY ENGLISH IS BAD. AND I SHOULDN’T EVEN TRY USING CHIM WORDS. COS IT’S SCIENCE. AND I AM NOT UP TO IT.

WHAT.THE.SHIT.OKAY.
FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
YOUR ENGLISH VERY GOOD MEH? WHY ARE YOU SO STEROTYPE? SO FULL OF SACARSM?
FINE. I adopt the heck care attitude. It’s hurting really badly.
I fucking use YOUR WORDS.
You replied, saying it’s CRAP. WHAT?
Is your memory failing speed increasing? Are you getting old a BIT TOO FAST ?
Seriously? So contradictory?
THAT ARE YOUR WORDS LEH MR. Fuck YOU.

Even if I don’t use your words, you edited and ask me to USE YOUR WORDS.
Ask me to UNDERSTAND your word and use it.
hello, I don’t want TO COPY word for word okay. THIS IS MY REPORT.
I don’t want to plagiarize or what shit. Then, say I don’t understand the meaning of the word.
FUCK YOU LA.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HURT YOU’D CAUSED ME?
You know how stressed I am doing all this crap?
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FEAR I HAVE WHENVER I EDIT THE REPORT NOW?
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SELF CONFIDENCE I’D LOST WHENEVER I EDIT MY REPORT?
YOU KNOW YOUR COMMENTS, HOW MUCH IT’D IMPACTED ME?
EVEN NOT DOING MY REPORT AND JUST TYPING A FUCKING ENGLISH SENTENCE, THE AMOUNT OF BACKSPACE I’D USED? BECAUSE OF THE FEAR THAT MY ENGLISH IS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH?
BECAUSE OF YOUR NASTY COMMENTS, YOUR INDECISIVENESS, YOUR CONTRADICTING ACTIONS?
DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA?

I’M REALLY GOING CRAZY. TRUST ME.

I don't know do I have the rights to feel this way
But I'm hating you more and more
And I want to avoid you as much as possible. Every action you do, every words you speak, I'm so negative about it.
I can't wait for fyp to be over. To not rely on you anymore.
To just fucking concentrate on studies.

I don't know is it only me. Like fucking getting stressed up
Or is you adding on to my stress
Today happy happy occasion 1second after that you immediate remind me about my FYP report to hand up and finalised before end of the month
Hello, I know? I also got fucking exams to study and told you before and you say okay school is more important
And yet you keep reminding
It's fucking not helping okay. It only make me more stressed, and whenever I hand up my work to you you returned it with your nasty comments. 
Not that I cannot accept rejections in my work. but as mentioned (in my previous post), it really hurts fucking alot. like A-LOT. 

I know I should be appreciative at least there's someone who helps to view my work. But this is too much. Seriously. I'm on the verge of completely kicking you out.
Fucking broke down twice just because of you. And not because of studies at all. 

Hate, just fucking hate you so much. 
Jsie is doing such a huge sin now cos she ought to be feeling lucky but her devil is coming out. She's out of control. 
Sigh. 

'Sloppish work' 
'Bullshit' 
'You think you are a butcher?'
'This is horrible' 
'What are you doing?!' 


Hurtful. 
I put in effort in my work. Or you can say I did my best
I will never be able to meet your expectations. 

Don't know who I can break down to except my weebly. 
Thanks my dear blog. 

I hate myself. Period.

So many fucking work to doooooo and I keep doing mistakes why am I so fucking dumb and cannot complete them within a short period of time?

I really won't be expecting much from each work completed because it's always rejected. And that fucking sucks though I know it's not the best.
I'm really angry at myself 


Things to do :
- Edit fyp introduction and submit
- Edit figure legends and submit
- Start writing on results
- Revision for exams (4 modules, 4 problems each)
- Haven even start on materials&methods, abstract, content page, discussion, further studies, conclusion..... (FARK)
All these before end of Nov. 

- Online records 
- Logbook completion 

So fucking stress I just wnna break down.
But yeah save the time to do some work, dumbass. 

Some thoughts :

1) I decide on a method/ an answer very quickly. Of course I have my own reasons to my solution
As compared to others who brainstormed for a long time before deciding on their answer

2) I can't seem to disagree with two parties during discussion unless their reasons is nonsense. My decisions is waived

3) I think things on a smple thought process. Unless I am under stress I complicated things too much. I know Im retarded