Hey all

Just went for meet up for discussion over project with ASTAR fyp sup and also ester faci, who is my fyp sup for RP.
So basically my fyp will take place during the after-intern break till school start period, which means highly that when school starts im done with fyp.

Certain expectations to be met, seminar to attend, scientific report which is not a must but a plus if i understand and take an interest to it.
From what I know, im the first diploma student under MrVictor, whereby his previous batches are all NTUs, NUSs students and all getting A for their fyps *stress*
And faci say as well, if I perform well prolly I can set an example to my juniors and for ASTAR to start accepting republic polytechnic students to complete their fyp there?

Mad happy but stressed.
I will not touch into performing research on animals anyway, abit disappointed but this opportunity is enough I wont ask for more :)
It will be more of how does immune system affect molecular level and vice versa, the response etc.

Many who know were happy for me,
And thank you all for that :) 

Very much alot of reading needed, and in a way I feel inferior to all cos I'm not even a graduate of diploma yet
But yeah jiayou jiayou jiayou! Gonna do my best!!

Am I being too selfish?
My happiness at the expense of others?
Am I worthy of this opportunity?
What if I let Mr victor down?
Or... am i just thinking too much?

I worry over every slightest things.
Gembateh.

Needa complete my resume and give them by next week :)

X

Life robbed me of my most loved ones

But rewarded me with opportunities that are so rare.

Hey all

Kept having irregular heart palpitations since last week
Really feel very uncomfortable cos the thumping is so strong.
Stress? Caffeine? (I stayed away since the last incident)
Prolly stress, even having to dream of work and waking up always in the middle of the night.

What if, I am dying soon? 

Whole chunk of blogpost deleted. 
Shall keep to myself and let the millions of questions popping in my head to fight over each other for space.

Hahahahah 



 

Hey all

When I appear unfriendly,
There's two possibilities.
It's either I don't like you and can't be bothered to talk/be close to you at all, or I'm too tired and hurt to try again.
I rather be seen as unfriendly and dao, then to create bonds I hold so dear, but yet is not recognised, instead is to another.

It.really.hurts.alot
31 more days.

Tired max emotionally, physically, mentally.
I had enough, really really enough.

Sometimes, an apology is not enough.
Not say I'm not forgiving enough, but it hurts too much to be forgotten.


Forgiven, but not forgotten.
It's not that easy.

Hey all

Short update
For fyp, left with fyp duration period to be filled up and RP superviser to be assigned then can proceed already :)

As for work, mad tired, this week totally burned out.
Monday, fucked up cos always having last minute decisions imposed on us and we were like idiots.
Tuesday, frigging OT for 3 hours and ended at 10pm.
Oh God super tiring, and now Dr Mike is permanent in RCM (YAY), I will be his clinic assistant.

Happy in a way but also sad cos won't be assisting Dr Kan much (I guess) and when 'B' comes, he will sure to favour her more :(
Then, now wed and fri must stay till 5pm. Really sucky, my life is gone.
Then, also going have roadshow from fri- sun for 9 hours
SUNDAY STILL MUST WORK. O-M-G
Really really really tired
5 more weeeeeeeeeekssssssssssss


&, I don't know if I'm ready to accept anyone new in my life.

Bye.

Hey all

I don't know how to describe how happy I am when I heard about it.
Re the previous post, an opportunity to gain experience in ASTAR, Mr Victor asked his in charge for me for a chance to complete my FYP in ASTAR.

And...
I asked my faci, she say it is possible for me to be granted permission to complete FYP there!
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really can fly lei!!

I was really damn depressed yesterday because I know that if I accept this offer,
I will be a very bad teammate to my FYP team because I backed out.
However I talked to one of them, and special thanks to sofia, who is really there for me and make me decide on this final decision.
I have not tell my team mates yet, though I still feel very guilty about it.

P/S : To sofia, you should treasure your golden opportunity as well!

Anyway, I really really hope that everything will be successful and granted.
I can't wish for more you know. It's a fucking dream come true.
ASTAR, so imba to me since young and how I fucking get stressed and depressed because I missed 2 chances to intern in ASTAR and also biologics.

I really want to thank Mr Victor especially, Mei for making me go to RCM, sofia, sister, and God for making this happen.
Cos I believe,
If it's fated and planned to happen, despite the obstacles faced, it will happen eventually at the end of the day.

Let's just hope everything will go well and be okay, please.
I am so happy I can just cry :')


X

Hey

Omfg today is a fucking @&@*^@&*^@&*^&* day
Early in the morning pek already, accumulation in the afternoon
Pissed till I cry, bth siol, aku angry till explode lor. Cccbbbb

Anyway night this patient, really melts my heart so much.
His name is Mr De Vries Victor, an ASTAR researcher in immunology.
Really very much an inspirational idol for me cos he started as a biomedical student as well, and what he is doing now is what I really aspire to do.
Guess what? He offered to help me to enter ASTAR as well, by giving me websites(really relevant sniff sniff :') ) and ask me to write a letter, which if I am keen, he will pass it to the ones in charge so that I can have a greater chance to work in ASTAR and gain experience!!
SO SWEET OR WHAT!!

It isnt easy to get into ASTAR you know.
And by the letter prolly I can skip an interview providing I am what they are looking for in terms of learning something from them, not contributing yet durh.
And he said that on the day when my internship ends, to give him my email so that he can share with me bisection of mice he done, surgeries etc.

O-M-F-G
I'm am literally like this inside and outside already

How can such people be such a dear!!
It's really a vast vast difference to others, an example can be the one that pissed me off so much.

The one in black box is Mr De Vries Victor :)
Can read more about his project here :
http://www.sign.a-star.edu.sg/index.php?option=com_research&task=pi_details_profile&pi_id=11&Itemid=71

Thank you very much Mr Victor,
I really really really appreciate your kind actions, you really brighten up my day sooooooooo much :>
And when I ask him, the route to be a researcher, isit difficult?
He will reply : 'The passion has to be strong, not like some others who be a researcher just for other gains. I can see that you are very interested and passionate about this. I can see it in your eyes.'


DAFUQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ :')))))))
It just makes me be reminded of how determined I MUST be in biomedical science and no other course, and so very much motivate me to work even harder towards my goal.


"Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down."~ Charles F. Kettering



X

Hey

Not feeling good about intership these few days
Nura leaving, DrJames leaving as well.
They are like the ones that really made me happy during my internship, esp nura being more than a friend than a colleague.

Spending almost everyday together and dealing with patients and _____ , shopping during lunch break, buying lots and lots of snacks for our cravings and fell sick together.
And of cos, DrJames being friendly and making me feel welcome, gave me adjustments and taught me the art of sharing.

Definately I'm happy for them as they are leaving to a better company, with higher pay and better treatment given.
And who's coming to be my colleague at RCM will be a lady, now lets call her 'B'.

Heard that she's bossy, will throw all the tasks to you, push the blame to you, sit still and not help at all and facebook all day.
Training supervisor somemore. Dafuq? Big fuck?
'B' is DrKan's apple of the eye so if let's say he decide to favour her more than me, and I'm treated transparent, I will jolly well hate 'B' to the core.

Cos it's really an obstacle I overcome to finally let DrKan call me and assign tasks to me, not be afraid of him just cos he is CEO.
And if you are gonna spoil all of these and make my life difficult, without doing much tasks at all I'm so not gonna be happy with you.

Worst is heard that she is unhygenic.
I really really really cannot stand this. And I'm so gonna invest in hand santizer already.

Fuck my life already.
I know I shouldn't be judgemental but all else fails sometimes.
Rumour has it, oh rumour has it ~

No X.